Cows and politics

We paid a visit to our local IKEA store this afternoon to purchase some new bedding items for the boys. While in the children’s department, I saw this cute floor rug, with a tractor, a barn, and of course, cows.

IKEA farm rug with cows

IKEA farm rug with cows

For today’s post, I also wanted to share with you a very funny joke I found on another blog. I want to thank Tilly Bud @ The Laughing Housewife for letting me repost it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! This is what happens when humor meets reality.

Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:  You have two cows.  You keep one and give one to your neighbour.

A SOCIALIST:  You have two cows.  The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN/BRITISH CONSERVATIVE:  You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT/BRITISH LABOUR:  You have two cows.  Your neighbour has none.  You feel guilty for being successful.  You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.  The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbour. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST:  You have two cows.  The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST:  You have two cows.  The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:  You have two cows.  You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:  You have two cows.  The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  They are mad.  They die. Pass the cottage pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:  You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.  You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:  You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.  Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the journalist who reported on them.

AN ARKANSAS/NORFOLK CORPORATION:  You have two cows.  That one on the left is kinda cute.

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6 responses to “Cows and politics

  1. You missed out: BRITISH “NEW” LABOUR: You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and waste it on shit you disapprove of. Your neighbour gets even poorer. You feel shafted.

    Pardon my French! I feel betrayed by them.

    And PS, we no longer have BSE and haven’t had for years, our beef is very high quality and our care for the animals is the highest in the world, hence we pay high prices for beef or import it. Milk is a whole other issue as supermarkets force the price so far down that dairy farmers barely survive. Yup, our government seems to care more about cows than people…

  2. I’m glad I don’t live in Arkansas or I might be offended….LOL
    I got the humor behind the joke although I thought it was interesting that the only mention of a Christian was as a Democrat…..considering I was raised as a Christian all my life by devout Republicans……I consider myself more Independent because I can’t say I agree 100% with everything Republicans stand for nor 100% of what Democrats stand for….If I had 2 cows, I would share one with my neighbor, though…..
    I don’t like the way US is headed either because I think too many people have become so narrow minded as to only see ONE side of things and badmouth the other and have lost sight of the things that are really important….

    • I’m appalled at the charade that’s been going on in Washington, at our president conceding to the other party to help the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Appalled that our Congress answers only to the lobbies of the rich and the large corporations. I miss the good old days of Bill Clinton, when he inherited a pretty messed up economy but made the right decisions to build the country back up. I missed those days of job and growth opportunity, when I was poor but I knew I could make it if I worked hard. Today it doesn’t matter how hard you work because there’s no work for you, or only work that pays half of what we used to make. Gosh, I can’t wait for things to turn around somehow!

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